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Unsafe relationship or abuse

Also called: Domestic violence, abusive relationship, unsafe relationship, intimate partner violence

Being hurt, threatened, controlled, or scared by a partner or family member. It's never your fault, and confidential help is available any time.

Hotline1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788
EmergencyCall 911
FormsPhysical, emotional, sexual, money control

Overview

Abuse often includes jealousy, controlling where you go or your money, threats, and isolation from friends.

Leaving can be the most dangerous time, so a safety plan helps.

Symptoms

Common signs:

  • Feeling unsafe with a partner or family member
  • Being hurt, threatened, or controlled by a partner or family member

Less common

  • Injuries
  • Fear
  • Being controlled

When to get medical care

Call 911You're in danger now, or someone has choked or strangled you: call 911.
Get care todayThoughts of suicide or harming yourself or others: call or text 988, or call 911.
See a doctor soonYou want help or advice.

Causes

The abuser's choices.

Does it spread or run in families?

  • It isn't contagious. You can't catch it from someone else.

Possible complications

Diagnosis

A healthcare professional can ask privately and help.

Questions you may be asked

  • Safety at home

The exam

Care for any injuries.

Treatment

Make a safety plan.

Self-care

  • Call or text the hotline from a safe phone
  • Keep important papers, money, and medicines ready
  • Choose a code word with someone you trust
  • Clear browser history if needed

Advocates can help with shelters and protection orders.

Which doctor treats this

  • Start with your primary care provider (family doctor or internist).

Living with it

Support groups and helplines

Children, pregnancy, and older adults

  • Children: Call 1-800-422-4453 (Childhelp). Older adults: Adult Protective Services.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding

  • If you're pregnant or planning to be, tell your prenatal provider about this condition.
  • Don't start or stop any medicine on your own. Some are safe in pregnancy and some need to be changed.
  • Ask before taking any pain reliever. The FDA advises avoiding ibuprofen and naproxen after 20 weeks unless your doctor says to.
  • Breastfeeding: Most medicines are fine, but ask. The NIH LactMed database lists what's known about each one.

Outlook

Help and safety are possible.

Research studies

Research studies test new ways to find and treat health problems. Some are looking for volunteers. Talk with your doctor before joining one.

Search ClinicalTrials.gov for studies on Unsafe relationship or abuse

Sources

Last updated 2026-11-12.