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Child very upset being apart from a parent

Also called: Separation anxiety

A young child getting very upset when apart from a parent is normal, especially between 8 months and 3 years. When it's extreme, lasts beyond the expected age, or keeps a child from school or sleep, it may be separation anxiety disorder, which is treatable.

Common causesNormal development, separation anxiety disorder, stress
Usually serious?Usually not
Get checked ifIt's extreme or affects school or sleep
If you think it's an emergency, call 911.Possible poisoning or something swallowed? Call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222.

Overview

Separation anxiety is a normal stage for babies and toddlers. It usually fades by preschool age.

Separation anxiety disorder causes intense worry about being apart, refusing school, nightmares, or physical complaints like stomachaches.

When to get medical care

Call 911Not an emergency.
Get care todayNot usually urgent.
See a doctor soonFear that lasts more than a month and affects school, sleep, or daily life.

Causes

Causes include normal development, life changes like a move or new sibling, family stress, and anxiety disorders.

OwieClear has pages on 1 condition that can cause child very upset being apart from a parent. Each shows how soon to get care.

Common causes

  • Separation anxietySee a doctor if it doesn't get better

    Strong fear or distress when apart from a parent or caregiver, beyond what's typical for the child's age.

What you can do at home

  • Keep goodbyes short and loving.
  • Practice short separations.
  • Keep routines.

Medicines

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps. Medicine is sometimes used for severe cases.

At the doctor

The provider will ask about the child's behavior.

Questions you may be asked

  • Age
  • How long
  • Effects on school

The exam

A physical exam.

Tests

  • Questionnaires

Prevention

Support helps.

  • Predictable routines
  • Calm reassurance

Check your symptoms

Most symptoms have more than one possible cause. The symptom checker looks at all of your symptoms together, plus your age, and shows how soon to get care.

Start the symptom checker

Sources

Last updated 2026-11-13.